NARRATOR:

 

                    That little red bird really knew how to climb!

                    She flew to the mountaintop in record time.

                    Once Cosmo touched down, he said

 

COSMO:

 

                                                                                    Thanks!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                                                                                    to the bird

                    And

 

COSMO:

 

                                Goodbye!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                                    to the chicken (though that seemed absurd).

                    Cosmo hadn’t searched long when he came to the back

                    Of an undersized house, not much more than a shack.

                    In front was a sign. Cosmo gave it a scan:

 

COSMO (reading):

 

                    “This is the Home of the World’s Wisest Man.”

 

                    The World’s Wisest Man! That is too good to miss!

                    I’ve always heard he lived someplace like this.

                    But what should I ask him? The key to world peace?

                    Are UFOs real? Should long pants have a crease?

 

                    There are so many questions we need answers for!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    Cosmo walked to the doorstep and knocked on the door.

 

                    Silence. Without really knowing quite why,

                    Cosmo reached for the doorknob and gave it a try.

                    It turned! Should he enter? The thought had him shocked...

                    But then, it was a wise man who left it unlocked!

 

COSMO:

 

                    I’ll just take a peek. Nothing more than a minute.

                    Who knows, this house might have the Perfect Hat in it!

 

(Cosmo enters the house and closes the door. It is very messy. There is a prominent portrait of the World’s Wisest Man on the wall; he’s a bald man with a long beard, wearing a robe.)

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    The world’s wisest man was an untidy chap;

                    On a big heap of books sat his wild thinking cap!

 

COSMO:

 

                    Now that is superb! I could make one like that...

                    But I somehow don’t feel it’s the one Perfect Hat.

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    Cosmo thought it was best not to snoop anymore,

                    And was leaving, when there came a knock on the door.

 

COSMO:

 

                    Well, this is awkward. Though I may regret it,

                    I guess the correct thing to do is to get it.

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    He opened the door. And before he could speak

                    A cute little bunny emitted a shriek.

 

(It has started to snow outside.)

 

BUNNY:

 

                    The World’s Wisest Man! It’s too good to be true!

                    I’ve climbed to this mountaintop just to meet you!

 

COSMO:

 

                    But —

 

BUNNY:

 

                                I hoped I might ask you a question today...

                    But I can’t! I’m not worthy! I’ll just go away!

 

COSMO:

 

                    I —

 

BUNNY:

 

                                    You mean you will help me? Oh, thank you! Three cheers!

                    This question’s stumped rabbits for millions of years!

 

COSMO:

 

                    But —

 

BUNNY:

 

                                Oh, World’s Wisest Man, please reveal this to me:

                    What’s twenty-seven divided by three?

 

COSMO (to himself):

 

                    That’s it?

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                        wondered Cosmo.

 

COSMO (to himself):

 

                                                                        I know that just fine!

                    I expected a much harder question. (to the bunny) It’s nine.

 

BUNNY:

 

                    On behalf of all rabbitdom, thank you!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                                                                    she cried.

 

BUNNY:

 

                    We can multiply, but never learned to divide.

                    Just wait till I notify all Rabbittown!

 

COSMO:

 

                    You’re welcome, but tell me: How will you get down?

 

BUNNY:

 

                    Oh World’s Wisest Man, come on, you’re teasing me!

                    You know that the only way down is to ski!

 

COSMO:

 

                    Yes, just joking, of course! Have a pleasant descent!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    Then he watched her hop off to see which way she went.

 

(Cosmo leaves the house and follows the bunny.)

 

COSMO (to himself):

 

                    I don’t know how to ski, so I certainly hope

                    There’s an easy — oh, what is it called — bunny slope!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    When he got to the ski paths, it didn’t seem funny

                    The bunny slope had been the choice of the bunny.

 

COSMO:

 

                    If the World’s Wisest Man is a fool on his skis

                    It is probably better if nobody sees.

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    So he strapped on a pair, grabbed some poles, and embarked

                    Down the steep slope.

 

COSMO:

 

                                                            Let’s not “break-a-leg”!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                                                                                    he remarked.

                    He hadn’t gone far when he saw on one pole

                    What seemed to be some kind of remote control.

                    Then he asked what will always make trouble ensue:

 

COSMO:

 

                    I wonder what pushing this button would do?

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    VROOM! Jets sprang from his skis, and with one blast of power

                    Launched Cosmo two hundred and three miles per hour!

                    The landscape blew by in a shivery breeze

                    While Cosmo stayed warm dodging boulders and trees.

 

                    There’s no downhill speed record he didn’t surpass!

                    As he came to the bottom, he ran out of gas.

 

                    Relieved to be living, he dropped off the skis,

                    And strolled off to Rabbittown, tucked in the trees.

 

(It has just stopped raining, and there is a rainbow in the distant sky.)

 

                    There were shops to help rabbits with all rabbit matters,

                    But sadly the village was lacking in hatters.

 

JACKRABBIT:

 

                    Free samples! Free samples!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                                                        a jackrabbit cried

                    From a vegetable stand Cosmo walked up beside.

 

JACKRABBIT (to Cosmo):

 

                    You look like a vegetable eater to me!

                    Won’t you try a tomato or carrot? They’re free!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    While vegetables weren’t Cosmo’s favorite food,

                    To reject a free sample seems terribly rude.

 

                    So:

 

                    Since it clearly would be impolite to refuse,

                    The tomato or carrot? Now, which do you choose?

 

tomato

 

carrot

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