JACKRABBIT:

 

                    The carrot’s my favorite vegetable too!

                    I knew there was something I liked about you.

 

COSMO:

 

                    Thanks for the sample, and have a good day!

                    If I meet hungry rabbits, I’ll send them your way!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    Cosmo wandered away from the vegetable stand

                    To the neighboring village, with carrot in hand.

 

(In the background we see a large woman in a chef's outfit and pink cat eye glasses walk by.)

 

                    He was looking for hats as a matter of course

                    When he came to a halt, face to face with a horse.

 

COSMO:

 

                    Pardon me,

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                        Cosmo said.

 

COSMO:

 

                                                            Did I step in your way?

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    With a flick of his forelock, the horse replied

 

HORSE:

 

                                                                                                    Neigh!

 

                    I was just on my way to the rodeo show!

                    I’m going to root for some cows that I know.

                    But where are you headed with that gorgeous carrot?

                    I don’t suppose you would be willing to share it?

 

COSMO:

 

                    That rodeo sounds good to me! Take me there,

                    And maybe this carrot can serve as my fare?

 

HORSE:

 

                    Fare is fair!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                        said the horse. So he helped his new pal up,

                    And left for the rodeo show at a gallop.

                    They got there in no time.

 

COSMO:

 

                    Well, thanks for the ride!

 

HORSE:

 

                    And thanks for the carrot!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                                            he gladly replied.

                    Cosmo looked for a seat where the view was okay

                    While a rodeo clown got the show underway.

 

(There are two rodeo clowns running the entire rodeo, the announcer clown and his all-purpose assistant, Hoss.)

 

ANNOUNCER CLOWN:

 

                    Welcome all pardners, from near and from far!

                    We’re the rodeo show that lets you be the star!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    While the clown worked the crowd to recruit volunteers,

                    Another walked by, hawking cheap souvenirs.

                    And there it was!

 

COSMO:

 

                                                            The Perfect Hat!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    Oh, Cosmo had no doubt of that.

                    A rough and rugged cowboy hat’ll

                    Look real sharp when ropin’ cattle.

 

                    Cosmo waved for the vendor to give him a view,

                    When the clown with the microphone bellowed out

 

ANNOUNCER CLOWN:

 

                                                                                                                        You!

                    Yes, you with your hand in the air! Thank you, son!

                    You’re our brave volunteer for some bull-riding fun!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    The stands went hog wild! The crowd clapped and screamed so,

                    Cosmo just didn’t feel brave enough to say “no”.

                    So off with the rodeo clown Cosmo went,

                    Across the big ring and then into a tent.

 

ANNOUNCER CLOWN:

 

                    You can get ready here, son. I’d put on some chaps!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    Then he left. Cosmo panicked, about to collapse.

 

COSMO:

 

                    A puppeteer riding a wild, bucking bull?

                    There’s no way to control it, with no strings to pull!

 

BULL (very sophisticated):

 

                    I say, my dear fellow, don’t fret now. Chin up!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    Said a bull, sipping tea from a dainty blue cup.

 

BULL:

 

                    If we work in tandem, I’m certain we could

                    Make this mad charade work for our mutual good!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    Cosmo came a bit closer.

 

COSMO:

 

                                                            That sounds good to me!

                    So then, what do we do?

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                                            The bull swallowed his tea.

 

BULL:

 

                    As you know, in a rodeo, each cowboy tries

                    To surmount his bull longest, and thus win the prize.

                    If I make your ride gentle and calm as a calf,

                    Then you’ll win, and we’ll divvy the prize half and half!

 

COSMO:

 

                    You’re on!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                        Cosmo said, much relieved.

 

COSMO:

 

                                                                                                    Thank you sir!

 

BULL:

 

                    No, you’re on!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                                            said the bull.

 

BULL:

 

                                                                                Mind you don’t muss the fur.

 

(We cut to a bull ride, already in progress.)

 

ANNOUNCER CLOWN:

 

                    And he’s having a rough ride…

 

(The bull throws the rider far out of the ring.)

 

                                                                                Wow, look at him fly!

                    Only three seconds? Too bad, pal. Bye-bye!

                    And our final contestant — oh boy, I can’t wait!

                    It’s that kid, Cosmo Kimball. Hoss, open the gate!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    The crowd’s raucous cheering came right to a stop

                    When the bull trotted out, with our Cosmo on top.

                    He frisked and he minced and he seemed to be dancing.

                    The bull wasn’t bucking at all…he was prancing!

 

                    This “rough ride” was merely — at best — “slightly bumpy”.

                    The crowd watched in silence…and then became grumpy.

 

(The crowd starts to murmur and boo.)

 

FLOYD:

 

                    Maybe I can help liven things up,

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                                                                said a lad

                    Who, in just the right light, looked like Cosmo a tad.

                     He rose to his feet from his place in the stands,

                    A big red tomato clutched fast in his hands.

 

                    He drew his arm back, and he gave it a toss.

                    The tomato went splat on the back of poor Hoss!

 

(The tomato knocks Hoss over, making a big red splat on his back, and the souvenirs fly everywhere. Hoss tries to collect them.)

 

                    Hoss reached for a shirt on the ground up ahead,

                    And just at that moment the bull’s eyes saw red!

 

                    A bull, when he sees that particular hue,

                    Loses all self-control, and his brain goes askew.

                    This one went wild from the bright crimson strife,

                    And he gave Cosmo Kimball the ride of his life!

                    Before very long, Cosmo’s grip gave away.

                    He flew through the air and fell into some hay.

                    Now the bull charged for Hoss, who abruptly turned face,

                    And smashed through the ring, the bull hot on the chase!

 

(Hoss runs off, pursued by the bull.)

 

                    Soon the dust settled, and so did the crowd.

 

ANNOUNCER CLOWN:

 

                    Hoo-doggies, that ride would make any man proud!

                    You probably won...but it seems in the shock

                    That my old buddy Hoss has run off with the clock!

 

COSMO:

 

                    I’m not too concerned with the prize and all that,

                    But I wonder…could I take one souvenir hat?

 

ANNOUNCER CLOWN (picking up a hat):

 

                    Wear it in health!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                                            the clown said with a smile.

 

ANNOUNCER CLOWN:

 

                    Let’s give him a send-off, folks, cowboy-style!

 

(The crowd cheers and whoops for Cosmo.)

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    And so Cosmo went home with the headgear in tow.

                    Gus at last had a hat for this evening’s big show!

 

(Cut to end of Ted Todman’s Talent Time.)

 

TED TODMAN:

 

                    Before Ted Todman’s Talent Time comes to an end,

                    Here’s one final act: Cosmo Kimball and Friend!

 

(We see the curtain rise, and Cosmo’s puppet Gus appears. Unlike the rest of the animated story, the puppet is live video composited against a cartoon background. The puppet is wearing the cowboy hat, and he sings a short, funny song about being a cowboy. Lots of applause afterwards.)

 

TED TODMAN:

 

                    Wow, Cosmo Kimball! That really was great!

                    You brought up the rear, but were well worth the wait.

                    Tell me, how did you think of this wonderful act?

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    Then Cosmo described his strange day, fact by fact:

                    The bus, the big chicken balloon overhead,

                    The mountain, the skis, and the bull that saw red.

 

TED TODMAN:

 

                    That’s quite an adventure that happened to you!

                    But you took what life gave you and made something new.

                    Our Applause-O-Tron says you’re the Audience Favorite!

                    Congratulations! I hope that you’ll savor it.

                    You’re on your way, Cosmo!

 

PUPPET (Cosmo pops him up into frame):

 

                                                                    How about that!

                    And to think it all came from my one perfect hat!

 

 

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