NARRATOR:

 

                    Cosmo took a big bite of his dog on a stick.

                    To watch the fish swimming gave Cosmo a kick.

 

(A lobster swims by the porthole, clutching a pair of pink cat eye glasses.)

 

                    But before too much longer he heard the hound say:

 

HOUND:

 

                    We’ve arrived at the island! Please have a great day!

 

COSMO:

 

                    Thanks for the ride!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    Cosmo said to the hound

                    And in no time at all he was on solid ground.

 

(It has stopped raining, and there is a rainbow in the sky.)

 

                    As he finished his corn dog, the look on his face

                    Made it clear he had come to a magical place.

                    As he dreamily thought of the places he’d been,

                    Cosmo tapped the used corn dog stick once on his chin.

 

                    Kazam! In a flash, without time to cry “fowl”,

                    Where once had been Cosmo, there now stood an owl.

                    With a brand new identity dropped upon you,

                    I expect your first word just might also be

 

COSMO:

 

                     Who?

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    Cosmo started to fear he was going berserk,

                    When along came a leprechaun, just off from work.

 

LEPRECHAUN:

 

                    Good day! Are you new here?

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    He shook Cosmo’s wing.

 

COSMO:

 

                    I’m new everywhere! It’s the craziest thing!

                    I was walking along with my normal physique,

                    And poof! I’ve got feathers, a tail, and a beak!

 

LEPRECHAUN:

 

                    On this island, these things sometimes happen…but still,

                    You had best see the wizard who lives on the hill.

                    He just might be able to undo the trick.

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    The leprechaun picked up the used corn dog stick.

 

LEPRECHAUN:

 

                    What a shame people litter such old, useless trash.

                    Good luck, kid! (He giggles.)

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                                                   He left, in a mad, giggling dash.

                    Cosmo got there pell-mell — he was faster on wing —

                    And at once gave the wizard’s brass doorbell a ring.

 

WIZARD:

 

                    Who is it?

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    The old wizard opened the door.

 

COSMO:

 

                    At the moment, an owl…but a human before!

                    Can you help change me back? I once thought owls were cute,

                    But now that I am one, I don’t give a hoot.

 

WIZARD:

 

                    I’m afraid with my skills, you’ll be left in the lurch,

                    But won’t you come in, sir, and please take a…perch?

 

(They go inside.)

 

                    Most of my spells, I no longer remember.

                    My wand has been missing since late last September.

                    That’s why I live here now, instead of the castle.

                    A useless old wizard’s too much of a hassle.

 

                    I doubt I can help, but I’ll give it a shot here.

                    Describe your activities since you first got here.

 

COSMO:

 

                    Let’s see now…to start all the way from the top,

                    I was peacefully eating a corn dog, and —

 

WIZARD:

 

                                                                                                 Stop!

                    A corn dog? A corn dog…the stick! Where’s it gone?

 

COSMO:

 

                    The stick? I don’t know…wait! A wee leprechaun —

 

WIZARD:

 

                    Ha! If you want mischief, then that’s who will cause it!

                    We’re off! Let me just get my hat from the closet…

 

(The wizard opens his closet, where there are a large number of identical caps and robes.)

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    And there it was!

 

COSMO:

 

                                                    The Perfect Hat!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    Oh, Cosmo had no doubt of that.

                    You want to make some magic, quick?

                    A wizard’s cap should do the trick.

 

                    Away they went, hunting the wee leprechaun,

                    The wizard on foot, and the owl hanging on.

 

(Cosmo is riding perched on the wizard's shoulder.)

 

COSMO:

 

                    Do you know where he is?

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    Cosmo asked as they trekked.

 

WIZARD:

 

                    At the end of the rainbow! Where did you expect?

 

COSMO:

 

                    At the end of the rainbow, I always was told,

                    You will find — if you get there — a big pot of gold!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    When they got there, what Cosmo discovered instead

                    Was a factory.

 

COSMO (reading):

 

                                                    "Corn Dogs by Kyle",

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                                                                          the sign said.

 

COSMO:

 

                    What? A big corn dog factory? Where is the gold?

 

WIZARD:

 

                    At the other end. Don't believe all that you’re told!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    Cosmo quickly flew upwards to watch from a tree.

 

WIZARD:

 

                    Kyle! Come out now! No use hiding! It’s me!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    Silence. Then softly, they heard someone giggling.

                    Up high, in a window, a wee head was wiggling.

 

LEPRECHAUN (giggling and wearing a small wizard's cap):

 

                    Ah Mervyn, you found me, you wizardly one!

                    Now please don’t be mad. I was just having fun!

 

WIZARD:

 

                    You burgled my wand — and a hat too, I see.

                    Come down here at once and return them to me!

 

LEPRECHAUN (giggling):

 

                    You want to make magic! I’ll help you with that!

                    Perhaps you would like doing tricks as…a cat!

 

(The leprechaun waves the wand and points it at the wizard, who is transformed into a cat.)

 

                    Nah, you’ll tear up your rugs, and get fleas in your house.

                    Perhaps I should make you a magical mouse!

 

(The leprechaun waves the wand and points it at the wizard, who is transformed into a mouse.)

 

 

                    I hope it is clear I’m just aiming to please!

                    I think you’d do best as a small chunk of cheese!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    But before this enchantment proceeded as planned,

                    An owl snatched the wand from the leprechaun’s hand.

 

(Cosmo swoops down and grabs the wand. He then returns it to the mouse-wizard.)

 

                    The mouse-wizard squealed when he got his wand back

                    (While Cosmo resisted the urge for a snack).

 

                    Mervyn struggled to raise the wand over his head.

 

WIZARD:

 

                    Let’s see now…Tribuso Reverso!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                                                              he said.

 

(A huge flash and explosion.)

 

                    A flash and a rumble convulsed the whole isle!

                    When the smoke cleared, there sat Cosmo, Mervyn, and Kyle.

 

(We see the three of them sitting in front of the factory, dazed, the wand and cap on the ground before them.)

 

COSMO: (in the wizard’s voice):

 

                    It worked…I believe…

 

KYLE (in Cosmo’s voice):

 

                    Is this who I am, then?

 

WIZARD (in the leprechaun’s voice):

 

                    I don’t feel quite myself.

 

COSMO (in the wizard’s voice, picking up the wand):

 

                    Let me try that again.

                    Tribuso Reverto!

 

(Another huge flash and explosion.)

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    Again the ground roared,

                    And when the dust settled, all three were restored.

 

(We now see the wizard, the leprechaun, and Cosmo standing in front of the factory.)

 

WIZARD:

 

                    Kyle, you’re a mischievous, impudent hooligan!

                    I can’t believe I’ve been played for a fool again.

 

LEPRECHAUN:

 

                    Mervyn, I’m sorry. I feel like a louse.

                    But you certainly make one hilarious mouse!

                    Yes, I borrowed those items one night in a fog.

                    The wand I hid safely inside a corn dog.

 

                    But business was booming…I guess I got careless.

                    And that’s how your friend wound up feathered and hairless!

 

WIZARD:

 

                    I’ll deal with you later. For now, it’s farewell;

                    There’s a castle I have to drop by for a spell. (To Cosmo.)

                    But I’d like to repay you for finding my wand.

                    Your assistance went truly above and beyond!

 

COSMO:

 

                    I’m happy to help. We were both in a flap!

                    Could I maybe take with me that tiny spare cap?

 

WIZARD:

 

                    It’s yours, with my thanks. It’s the least you are owed!

 

LEPRECHAUN:

 

                    If you’d like, take a corn dog to eat on the road!

 

COSMO:

 

                    Thank you, but one was enough for today.

                    It’s been magical, guys! Now I’m off on my way!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    So Cosmo went home with the headgear in tow.

                    Gus at last had a hat for this evening's big show!

 

(Cut to end of Ted Todman’s Talent Time.)

 

TED TODMAN:

 

                    Before Ted Todman’s Talent Time comes to an end,

                    Here’s one final act: Cosmo Kimball and Friend!

 

(We see the curtain rise, and Cosmo’s puppet Gus appears. Unlike the rest of the animated story, the puppet is live video composited against a cartoon background. The puppet is wearing the wizard's cap, and he sings a short, funny song about being a wizard. Lots of applause afterwards.)

 

TED TODMAN:

 

                    Wow, Cosmo Kimball! That really was great!

                    You brought up the rear, but were well worth the wait.

                    Tell me, how did you think of this wonderful act?

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    Then Cosmo described his strange day, fact by fact:

                    The bull, and the crows, and the sub he rode on,

                    The wizard, the wand, and the wee leprechaun.

 

TED TODMAN:

 

                    That’s quite an adventure that happened to you!

                    But you took what life gave you and made something new.

                    Our Applause-O-Tron says you’re the Audience Favorite!

                    Congratulations! I hope that you’ll savor it.

                    You’re on your way, Cosmo!

 

PUPPET (Cosmo pops him up into frame):

 

                                                                    How about that!

                    And to think it all came from my one perfect hat!

 

 

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