Cosmo vacuumed the popcorn, not leaving a trace,
While the elephant watched with a woebegone face.
Thanks, that was delicious! I ate the whole box!
he said, through a mouthful of lox.
As the elephant slurped down some cold vichyssoise,
Cosmo glanced out the window to see where he was.
A sign glided by that made Cosmo's eyes pop:
Big game today! Bowler Ballpark! Next Stop!
A ballpark is bound to be brimming with caps,
In multiple sizes and colors, perhaps!
Cosmo reached for the button without hesitation
To signal the train to stop at the next station.
(Cosmo goes to the door to leave the train.)
I'll be watching Ted Todman to see you compete!
Thanks again, nice to meet you...and bon appétit!
(Cosmo leaves the train. It has stopped raining, and there is a rainbow in the distant sky.)
Cosmo got to the stadium quickly, just when
It was clear that the game was about to begin.
He could read on a billboard, above the team stats:
Westchester Wolves versus Burlington Bats.
Cosmo passed through the gates and had just stepped inside
When a wolf bounded out at him!
Then it pulled Cosmo into a room, shut the door,
And began to explain what the panic was for.
I'm the Westchester Wolf. Can you help me?
As it suddenly reached up and pulled off its head.
It was then Cosmo saw that the big hairy brute
Was in fact just a person dressed in a wolf suit.
You're a mascot!
That's right, but the problem is that
There is no one to dress like the Burlington Bat.
The regular guy called in sick. But I know
That the crowd will go mad if that Bat doesn't show!
The costume's next door, so to calm down the mob
Do you think there is any chance you'd do the job?
Why, of course! And you know, as a proud puppeteer...
Yeah, yeah kid, whatever, that's great! Wait right here.
The wolf-man ran off for the costume.
With a little rehearsal, I'll have it down pat!
I wish I could fly! That would get the crowd clapping.
At least I can try to impress them by flapping!
He started to flap, but the wolf-man returned,
And one look at the costume had Cosmo concerned.
Not a bat for the sky, but for baseball instead!
A hard, narrow body, and up on its head...
There it was!
The Perfect Hat!
Oh, Cosmo had no doubt of that.
If you're a baseball-playing chap
You'll look more sporty in a cap.
Okay, put it on, and I'll meet you outside!
But how to get in? It would be a tight slide...
(Cut to outside the dressing room.)
When he came out, that bat suit was hiding a frown.
Cosmo waddled along, trying not to fall down.
So how is it, kid?
Well, I can't really see,
And I can't move my arms, and —
That's great! Follow me!
Cosmo barely kept up, with his limbs tightly sealed,
But he followed the wolf-man out onto the field.
(In the sky we see a parrot fly by, wearing a pirate’s hat.)
But which way is the game? And which way is the crowd?
And which way is the exit?
he wondered out loud.
As he floundered, uncertain of which way was which,
The Burlington Bats' pitcher threw the first pitch.
(Cosmo wanders out between the pitcher and batter.)
Just then Cosmo wobbled in, still in the dark,
(The pitch hits Cosmo in the Bat costume.)
And CRACK! went that baseball, straight out of the park!
And CRACK! went the Bat costume, shattered to bits!
What better reason for calling it quits?
OPOSSUM (one of two together in the stands):
Down with the Bat!
Cosmo heard the fans scream.
You scored a home run for the opposite team!
So Cosmo took flight from his sudden release,
And unlike the costume, escaped in one piece.
But he took one thing with him from this whole mishap:
Perched on his head was the Bat's baseball cap!
So Cosmo went home with the headgear in tow.
Gus at last had a hat for this evening's big show!
(Cut to end of Ted Todman’s Talent Time.)
Before Ted Todman’s Talent Time comes to an end,
Here’s one final act: Cosmo Kimball and Friend!
(We see the curtain rise, and Cosmo’s puppet Gus appears. Unlike the rest of the animated story, the puppet is live video composited against a cartoon background. The puppet is wearing the baseball cap, and he sings a short, funny song about being a baseball player. Lots of applause afterwards.)
Wow, Cosmo Kimball! That really was great!
You brought up the rear, but were well worth the wait.
Tell me, how did you think of this wonderful act?
Then Cosmo described his strange day, fact by fact:
The bull, and the crows, and the scarecrow’s old hat,
The elephant’s lunch, and the big baseball bat.
That’s quite an adventure that happened to you!
But you took what life gave you and made something new.
Our Applause-O-Tron says you’re the Audience Favorite!
Congratulations! I hope that you’ll savor it.
You’re on your way, Cosmo!
PUPPET (Cosmo pops him up into frame):
How about that!
And to think it all came from my one perfect hat!
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