This peanut should satisfy me for a spell.
Cosmo started at once to crack open the shell.
He gave it a poke and he gave it a pinch
But the shell wouldn't split one sixteenth of an inch.
He labored in vain for the tiniest crack,
While the elephant ate fish and soup for a snack.
Cosmo got an idea.
I know just what to do!
And then he leaned forward and took off his shoe,
And placing the peanut shell down on the floor,
He promptly proceeded to give it what for!
(A colorful sign for a ballgame goes by the window, but as Cosmo is looking down at the peanut, he doesn't see the sign. The train goes on past the exit.)
He pounded and pummeled and hammered and hit
But the shell remained free of the tiniest split.
Exhausted at last, Cosmo let his arm drop.
Then he heard the conductor announce:
CONDUCTOR (over the loudspeaker):
(As the elephant packs up his lunchbox, Cosmo tries to return the peanut.)
Thanks for the peanut, but I couldn't break it!
You might want some exercise later. You take it!
I'll be watching Ted Todman to see you compete!
Thanks again! Nice to meet you...and bon appétit!
(All the passengers are off the train. There is a rainbow in the distant sky.)
Before he had gone very far, Cosmo found
A sizable hole going deep in the ground.
Then from two smaller holes that were near the hole's rim,
Up popped two groundhogs, both staring at him!
(The groundhogs are wearing coal mining helmets.)
And...there it was!
The Perfect Hat!
Oh, Cosmo had no doubt of that.
To visit dark and dusty mines,
You need a hat that really shines.
Wait! Stop right there! Don't you come any closer!
You mustn't fall down this abandoned well! No sir!
Oh, please pay no mind to my brother here, stranger.
All's well with this well. There's no hazard! No danger!
No hazard? No danger? No way! This hole's got 'em!
A terrible monster resides at the bottom!
Don't listen to him, sir! His brain is unstable!
The monster's a legend! A fiction! A fable!
Well, since I've no reason to climb down and see,
I'll just have to let you two chaps disagree.
Your hats are incredible! Do you suppose
There's somewhere nearby I could find one of those?
There aren't any hat shops around, I'm afraid.
But it's possible I'd part with mine...for a trade!
A trade sounds just dandy to me! But for what?
Is there any chance you'd have some kind of nut?
Cosmo pondered the question, and then in reply,
He pulled out the peanut and held it up high!
Well, technically that's a legume...but why quibble?
It's one of my favorite items to nibble!
COSMO (to himself):
If I had cracked it, I couldn't have swapped it!
He offered the groundhog the peanut...and dropped it.
He scrambled to catch it, and yet, sad to tell,
The peanut bounced twice and then dropped down the well.
Clumsy me! I'll go get it.
You can't, for Pete's sake!
Stop scaring the fellow! That monster's a fake!
Well, he seems to think that the monster's not real...
And I must have that hat...and a deal is a deal...
In a shack, Cosmo found the long rope that he needed,
And with a brave face, down the well he proceeded.
The bright patch of sky up above quickly shrank
As steadily into the well Cosmo sank.
But...what if, when he got to the end of his line,
There was a big monster awaiting to dine?
Cosmo's confidence quickly was coming unwound
When all of a sudden, his foot touched the ground.
He froze there. He listened. He sniffed. And he waited.
No sign of a monster! He breathed out, elated!
He crawled on his hands and his knees for a spell
Until finally, blindly, his hand found the shell.
He stuffed it down deep in his pocket, and then
Started back up to the surface again.
He almost had come to the top when he spied
A tunnel that branched off the well to one side.
I didn't see that there before. It might go
To a mine, from which diamonds or emeralds flow!
I'll just take a peek, then complete my ascent.
He stepped into the tunnel, and down it he went.
The tunnel was dark. It was not easy going.
But just up ahead, he could see a light glowing.
As he rounded a corner, it lit the path more.
The light was emitting from under a door.
Cosmo reached out his hand for the doorknob. It turned.
And what was inside? Well, as Cosmo soon learned:
That groundhog was right!
The monster screamed shrilly and passed out from fright.
Unconscious, it didn't look scary, but sweet,
With its shaggy green fur and its size 20 feet.
On its two hairy arms, Cosmo gasped when he saw
There were two groundhog puppets, one stuck on each paw!
You mean those two groundhogs and that whole debate
Weren't real? Hey, wake up, pal! Your puppets are great!
I'm sorry to scare you. There's nothing to fear!
I didn't expect you to find me down here!
Well, that groundhog encouraged me...and he was you!
On the other hand though, I discouraged you, too!
As a matter of fact,
I'm a puppeteer too, working on a new act!
Might I see you perform sometime soon?
Yes, you might:
On Ted Todman's Talent Time! Tune in tonight!
That's awesome! I'm just starting out, but I've found
You can practice your craft if you go underground!
You're terrific already!
Aw, thank you for that!
So why were you needing the coal mining hat?
It would give my new puppet a finishing touch.
In that case, please take it!
Oh, thank you so much!
But we made a deal! It would be just as well
If you'd still take the peanut. (Good luck with the shell!)
So nice to meet you! Good luck with the hat!
Thanks! I'll come back when there's more time to chat!
Cosmo climbed up the rope with the hat in one hand,
And in no time at all he was on solid land.
As he walked to the train stop, he turned round to spy
Two little groundhogs, both waving goodbye!
So, Cosmo went home with the headgear in tow.
Gus at last had a hat for this evening's big show!
(Cut to end of Ted Todman’s Talent Time.)
Before Ted Todman’s Talent Time comes to an end,
Here’s one final act: Cosmo Kimball and Friend!
(We see the curtain rise, and Cosmo’s puppet Gus appears. Unlike the rest of the animated story, the puppet is live video composited against a cartoon background. The puppet is wearing the mining helmet, and he sings a short, funny song about being a miner. Lots of applause afterwards.)
Wow, Cosmo Kimball! That really was great!
You brought up the rear, but were well worth the wait.
Tell me, how did you think of this wonderful act?
Then Cosmo described his strange day, fact by fact:
The bull, and the crows, and the maze without end,
And the elephant's lunch, and his new monster friend.
That’s quite an adventure that happened to you!
But you took what life gave you and made something new.
Our Applause-O-Tron says you’re the Audience Favorite!
Congratulations! I hope that you’ll savor it.
You’re on your way, Cosmo!
PUPPET (Cosmo pops him up into frame):
How about that!
And to think it all came from my one perfect hat!
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