NARRATOR:

 

                    In his flashy red socks, feeling fearless and fine,

                    Cosmo walked to the bus stop and waited in line.

                    A bull soon emerged from the old china shop

                    With a dainty blue saucer and teacup on top.

 

                    But the dishes went flying the moment that ox

                    Got an angering eyeful of Cosmo’s red socks!

                    Bulls tend to go batty if they should see red.

                    This one charged right at Cosmo, who panicked and fled!

 

(We catch a glimpse of the bus pulling up. On the side of the bus is an ad for a circus, featuring an elephant wearing a fez. Through a window we can see a couple of opossums who look like they’re on their way to see a baseball game.)

 

                    There was no time to think! He was off, running blind,

                    With a twenty-ton rampaging rump roast behind.

 

                    Cosmo doubted that he would survive without harm

                    When the chase led at last to a large, rustic farm.

                    The bull heard a sultry, melodious

 

COW:

 

                                                                                Mooooo!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    And forgot those red socks he was there to pursue.

                    And so Cosmo was saved by a flirty brown cow.

                    But how would he locate the perfect hat now?

 

                    Before he could think what his next step should be,

                    He spied two black crows in a big apple tree.

 

COSMO:

 

                    Hello, birds! I need to relax from that run...

                    Tell me, what do folks do on this farm just for fun?

 

CROW 1:

 

                    People come from quite far to get lost in this place

                    In our corn maze, created by...creatures from space!

 

 

(We see the corn maze nearby. As the crows describe the story of the maze, we see the action happening onscreen, as if in a “flashback”.)

 

CROW 2:

 

                    They hover in spaceships, and then their bright lasers

                    Carve labyrinths into the cornstalks like razors.

 

(Back to “reality”.)

 

COSMO:

 

                    That’s...nice!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                            Cosmo said, with a slight trace of doubt.

 

COSMO:

 

                    But I wonder if you two crows might help me out.

                    I started my day on a quest for a hat.

                    Is there someone nearby who has something like that?

 

CROW 1:

 

                    The one hat I’ve seen in the last several days

                    Is the one on the scarecrow who’s guarding the maze.

 

COSMO:

 

                    I might borrow it, if he would be so inclined.

                    Do you think he would let me?

 

CROW 2:

 

                                                                        I’m sure he won’t mind.

 

(Cosmo walks to the entrance of the maze.)

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    Cosmo quickly walked down to the front of the maze

                    Where the scarecrow stood guard with an unblinking gaze.

 

COSMO:

 

                    Hello!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                   No response. It was then Cosmo saw

                    That this scarecrow was lifeless, just clothes stuffed with straw.

 

COSMO:

 

                    Well, I won’t hold my breath for a big song and dance.

                    But I’ll check out that hat now, while I’ve got the chance.

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    Then all of a sudden he felt the wind raise,

                    And it sent the hat tumbling off, into the maze!

 

                    Cosmo followed it quickly. He turned left, then right,

                    But each turn failed to bring the hat into his sight.

                    So he tried to trace back through the paths he had crossed,

                    But it all looked the same to him. Cosmo was lost.

 

(In the sky we see the crows flying towards Cosmo. In the distance, just barely large enough to be noticed, we see a parade balloon of a chicken go floating up.)

 

                    He glanced up. To his rescue he saw the crows glide,

                    And they perched on his shoulders, one bird on each side.

 

CROW 1:

 

                    Cheer up, kid! There’s no need for doubt or distress!

 

CROW 2:

 

                    You’ll get right through the maze, with our

 

BOTH CROWS:

 

                                                                                        Crow GPS!

 

                    Turn left!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                    the crows screeched. Cosmo did what they said.

 

BOTH CROWS:

 

                    Now right!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                        He obeyed, like a dog being led.

                    And so they continued. It seemed to take years,

                    With the crows screaming

 

BOTH CROWS:

 

                                                                Right!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                                                            and

 

BOTH CROWS:

 

                                                                                    Left!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                                                                                into his ears.

 

                    Then the path split two ways. Just imagine his plight

                    When the right crow screamed

 

CROW 1:

 

                                                                        Left!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                                                                                    and the left crow screamed

 

CROW 2:

 

                                                                                                                                    Right!

 

CROW 1:

 

                    No no, right’s all wrong! Left is right, as we’ll find!

 

CROW 2:

 

                    You think left is correct? You’re not in your right mind!

 

NARRATOR:

 

                    Cosmo halted right there. Hearing these two crows bicker

                    Would not help him locate a hat any quicker.

                    So:

                    Between these two birds, with their differing views —

                    The lefthand or righthand crow — which do you choose?

 

 

lefthand crow

 

righthand crow

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